Klingon Anti-Virus Bites the Dust, All Qo'noS Malware Eradicated
About 4 months ago the team over at Sophos, company that specializes in providing security software solutions, announced the release of an unusual security application: Klingon Anti-Virus. The antivirus application was meant to work smoothly with your currently installed security software app and provide an added level of protection from viruses, spyware, adware, 0-day threats and other nasties.
At the time, Senior Technology consultant with Sophos, Graham Cluley explained that from time to time the company he works with comes up with “bespoke software for particular groups.” In this case that group would be composed by Star Trek fans all over the world. It is the same Graham Cluley who announced Sophos will drop support for Klingon Anti-Virus. Which by the way, did manage to rack up almost 100,000 downloads since its launch.
“During the course of the experiment we not only found that Helsinki was the Klingon-speaking capital of the world, but also that a surprising number of people chose to keep running the Klingon-language version of our software on their computers, automatically updating against the latest threats just as our software does in English, Spanish, Japanese and other languages. I'm afraid, however, that all good things must come to an end and we will be pulling the plug on anti-virus updates to the Klingon version of our software at the end of this month,” explained Graham Cluley.
I don’t want to be mean, but here are just some of the features that made Klingon Anti-Virus an appealing security software application:
- You need not uninstall or disable your current security software solution.
- Works with Windows 2000, Windows 2003, XP and Vista. But you should be warned that it has “compatibility issues with the version of msxml4.dll used by cloaking devices on Romulan-modded D7-class battle cruisers. Installing this software on such vessels is punishable by ordeal of Ginst'a'Ed.”
- One scan detects all various types of security threats.
- It will be automatically updated every 30 “Galactic standard days.”
One question comes to mind: Why did Sophos drop support for Klingon AV? According to Graham Cluley, the “Klingon High Council recently expressed concern that the continued existence of Klingon Anti-Virus reflected badly on the Klingon race, as they claim to have eradicated all Qo'noS-related malware, past present and future in both this and mirror universes.” Since Sophos does not want any trouble with the Klingon race, support for the antivirus had to be dropped.
At the time, Senior Technology consultant with Sophos, Graham Cluley explained that from time to time the company he works with comes up with “bespoke software for particular groups.” In this case that group would be composed by Star Trek fans all over the world. It is the same Graham Cluley who announced Sophos will drop support for Klingon Anti-Virus. Which by the way, did manage to rack up almost 100,000 downloads since its launch.
“During the course of the experiment we not only found that Helsinki was the Klingon-speaking capital of the world, but also that a surprising number of people chose to keep running the Klingon-language version of our software on their computers, automatically updating against the latest threats just as our software does in English, Spanish, Japanese and other languages. I'm afraid, however, that all good things must come to an end and we will be pulling the plug on anti-virus updates to the Klingon version of our software at the end of this month,” explained Graham Cluley.
I don’t want to be mean, but here are just some of the features that made Klingon Anti-Virus an appealing security software application:
- You need not uninstall or disable your current security software solution.
- Works with Windows 2000, Windows 2003, XP and Vista. But you should be warned that it has “compatibility issues with the version of msxml4.dll used by cloaking devices on Romulan-modded D7-class battle cruisers. Installing this software on such vessels is punishable by ordeal of Ginst'a'Ed.”
- One scan detects all various types of security threats.
- It will be automatically updated every 30 “Galactic standard days.”
One question comes to mind: Why did Sophos drop support for Klingon AV? According to Graham Cluley, the “Klingon High Council recently expressed concern that the continued existence of Klingon Anti-Virus reflected badly on the Klingon race, as they claim to have eradicated all Qo'noS-related malware, past present and future in both this and mirror universes.” Since Sophos does not want any trouble with the Klingon race, support for the antivirus had to be dropped.
