7 Ways Smartphones Make Life a Little Bit Harder and More Annoying
I wouldn’t go as far as to say that smartphones are ruining your life, but there are times when they make things unnecessarily hard for you. Or at least more annoying! Who would of thought that having a powerful minicomputer in your pocket would be a bad thing?
Don’t take the list below too seriously though. It’s all in good fun and it’s mostly based on my own personal experiences. These are 7 ways smartphones have made my life a little bit harder and a little bit more annoying.
1. You’ll get mean looks when you prove your friends wrong
So you’re saying that nobody uses Android? Let me tell you something about its market share, my friend!
I don’t know if you’re aware of this fact, but my superpower is to take the fun out of everything. Kind of like Adam from "Adam Ruins Everything," I love to correct my friends when they’re wrong and… that’s gotten me a lot of mean looks over time. I could just keep my big mouth shut, but why would I when my smartphone makes it so easy to prove them wrong? All the information I need to prove that they’re spouting nonsense is right there at my fingertips.
2. You can’t remember important things
You’re having a party on your birthday? Wait… when is that again?
Kaspersky Lab calls it "digital amnesia:" forgetting things because you trust your smartphone to remember them for you. I have enough things on my mind already, why would I bother to remember stuff like people’s phone numbers or when their birthdays are? As long as my phone keeps track of all these things, I can focus on something else. Like getting my wife a cool present because I completely forgot about our anniversary.
3. You can’t enjoy a concert
Put that damn phone down and enjoy the concert! Oh, it’s a tablet you say…
I really, really, really miss the days when phones couldn’t snap pictures and shoot videos. Sure, it’s is annoying when you’re having a meal with friends and they’re too busy snapping food pics. Or when you’re trying to have a conversation and they’re too busy snapping selfies to show their Facebook audience what a great time they’re having. But the absolute worse is when you’re trying to enjoy a concert and the people around you are holding up their phones, shooting a video that you know they’re never going to watch.
4. You’ll (probably) hurt yourself, or worse
Mind the wall, mind the wall, mind the… Never mind!
If you thought that digital eye strain from spending a lot of time staring at a screen is bad, I have something that’s worse. A heck of a lot worse: people are getting seriously hurt and even dying because they want to take an impressive selfie. A woman fell of a bridge in Spain, a guy shot himself in the head in Mexico City, a tourist plunged to his death in Peru, a guy got ran over by a train in Washington. Need I go on?
5. You’ll get that pic, eventually
Wrong person dude! Wrong. Damn. Person.
Thank the stars that something like this has never happened to me so far, but I have the sneaky suspicion that it’s only a matter of time before one of my friends sends me an unsolicited dick pic by mistake. Or on purpose, to show me just how much he appreciates my constantly proving him wrong.
6. You’ll forget that you have pics like that too
Never swipe when someone gives you their phone to check out a photo.
People have this obnoxious habit of swiping when you give them your phone to check out a photo. You’ll be sitting there, bragging about the cool shot you took, while they’re swiping and swiping until… they inevitably get to something they shouldn’t see. You know, that butt naked picture that you forgot to delete.
Look, if I’m going to show you a picture on my phone, I want you to look at that picture and only that picture. You don’t know what else I have on my phone and trust me, you don’t want to know. So when I give you my phone to look at a picture, don’t swipe. Enjoy the picture, comment on it if you have to, and return my phone.
7. You’ll spend way too much time using the facilities
If you told me ten year ago that I would spend insane amounts of time in the toilet staring at my phone, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Sometimes I don’t even need to use the toilet. I’ll just sit go in there, sit on the throne and browse the web until I can’t feel my legs anymore. So what if my in-laws are waiting for me in the living room? I’ll be done soon! Maybe…
Don’t take the list below too seriously though. It’s all in good fun and it’s mostly based on my own personal experiences. These are 7 ways smartphones have made my life a little bit harder and a little bit more annoying.
1. You’ll get mean looks when you prove your friends wrong
So you’re saying that nobody uses Android? Let me tell you something about its market share, my friend!
I don’t know if you’re aware of this fact, but my superpower is to take the fun out of everything. Kind of like Adam from "Adam Ruins Everything," I love to correct my friends when they’re wrong and… that’s gotten me a lot of mean looks over time. I could just keep my big mouth shut, but why would I when my smartphone makes it so easy to prove them wrong? All the information I need to prove that they’re spouting nonsense is right there at my fingertips.
2. You can’t remember important things
You’re having a party on your birthday? Wait… when is that again?
Kaspersky Lab calls it "digital amnesia:" forgetting things because you trust your smartphone to remember them for you. I have enough things on my mind already, why would I bother to remember stuff like people’s phone numbers or when their birthdays are? As long as my phone keeps track of all these things, I can focus on something else. Like getting my wife a cool present because I completely forgot about our anniversary.
3. You can’t enjoy a concert
Put that damn phone down and enjoy the concert! Oh, it’s a tablet you say…
I really, really, really miss the days when phones couldn’t snap pictures and shoot videos. Sure, it’s is annoying when you’re having a meal with friends and they’re too busy snapping food pics. Or when you’re trying to have a conversation and they’re too busy snapping selfies to show their Facebook audience what a great time they’re having. But the absolute worse is when you’re trying to enjoy a concert and the people around you are holding up their phones, shooting a video that you know they’re never going to watch.
4. You’ll (probably) hurt yourself, or worse
Mind the wall, mind the wall, mind the… Never mind!
If you thought that digital eye strain from spending a lot of time staring at a screen is bad, I have something that’s worse. A heck of a lot worse: people are getting seriously hurt and even dying because they want to take an impressive selfie. A woman fell of a bridge in Spain, a guy shot himself in the head in Mexico City, a tourist plunged to his death in Peru, a guy got ran over by a train in Washington. Need I go on?
5. You’ll get that pic, eventually
Wrong person dude! Wrong. Damn. Person.
Thank the stars that something like this has never happened to me so far, but I have the sneaky suspicion that it’s only a matter of time before one of my friends sends me an unsolicited dick pic by mistake. Or on purpose, to show me just how much he appreciates my constantly proving him wrong.
6. You’ll forget that you have pics like that too
Never swipe when someone gives you their phone to check out a photo.
People have this obnoxious habit of swiping when you give them your phone to check out a photo. You’ll be sitting there, bragging about the cool shot you took, while they’re swiping and swiping until… they inevitably get to something they shouldn’t see. You know, that butt naked picture that you forgot to delete.
Look, if I’m going to show you a picture on my phone, I want you to look at that picture and only that picture. You don’t know what else I have on my phone and trust me, you don’t want to know. So when I give you my phone to look at a picture, don’t swipe. Enjoy the picture, comment on it if you have to, and return my phone.
7. You’ll spend way too much time using the facilities
If you told me ten year ago that I would spend insane amounts of time in the toilet staring at my phone, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Sometimes I don’t even need to use the toilet. I’ll just sit go in there, sit on the throne and browse the web until I can’t feel my legs anymore. So what if my in-laws are waiting for me in the living room? I’ll be done soon! Maybe…
